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Joke of the Day

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver! **bows ** I'll show myself out."

"Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention."

"Breaking news!!! Ne ws"

"Be the person your dog thinks you are. A gentle lover."

"new pet ideas: an egg with hair on, small bear, tictac size baby cats, frog with wheels"

"Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there."

"Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !"

"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"

"(Stalker Diary) Day 4: Still under her bed. She continues to put the toilet paper roll on upside down. It's like I'm living with a monster."

"How do you get Dick from Richard? Buy him dinner first."