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Joke of the Day

"What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank? Urine over your head!"

"I'm not the kind of guy to distance myself from anything... Far from it."

"Gift cards are another way of saying, don't spend this on dope."

"I need a new waffle iron. These waffles are still wrinkled."

"What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The large pizza can feed a family of four."

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"I was going to tell a joke about anal... ...but fuck it"

"There's safety in numbers. Unless there are 6,000,000 of you. And you're Jews."

"My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology. ""They're not the only ones,"" I said, looking at his mobility scooter."

"My wife's favorite position was cat style. She'd sit 3 feet away from me. No matter how many times I called her, she wouldn't come near me"