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Joke of the Day

"Why Doesn't Santa Have Any Kids? Because he comes down the chimney."

"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."

"Your mother walks into the bar It's ""the"" bar because she's so fat she's in every bar."

"Bottom line: parenting interferes with my ability to be lazy."

"What's the difference between pussy and parsley? Nobody eats parsley."

"""IT'S A BOY"" I shouted, tears rolling down my face ""I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!"" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again."

"Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner turns 18 today. That makes him 126 in dog years so, unfortunately, we're going to have to put him to sleep."

"What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for? Completely Useless By September"

"Which one of you eggs is my employer?"

"Son - Dad, you wanted a boy or a girl? Dad - seriously son, i just wanted to fuck."