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Joke of the Day

"Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working? No but there's a lot of crackling."

"Did you hear about the antelope... Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed? He was a self dressed stamped antelope."

"Mack The Slice"

"What do you call it when a frog jumps off a bridge? Kermitting suicide."

"Why does Reddit love Ronda Rousey so much? she hits women"

"What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked? A witch."

"Sandwich walk into a bar/ The bartender said, sorry, we don't serve food."

"Anybody know of a good job for someone that hates people and working?"

"What would Donald Trump say if he was Mexican? 'WE NEED TO BUILD A RAMP!'"

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"