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Joke of the Day

"Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore? They all lost their hearing"

"[loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks."

"The CEO of Apple came out gay... Now we know why the iPhone 6 can't stay straight"

"Vader: ""I am your father."" Luke: ""I am your father."" Vader: ""Stop copying me."" Luke: ""Stop copying me."" Vader: ""Shut up."" Luke: ""Shut up."""

"I still think my biggest regret is asking a girl out, and replying ""me too"" after she told me she had a boyfriend"

"Olive Garden waitress begins to freshly grate cheese onto my salad. I never say when. Room fills with parmesan. No one survives."

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"hey @BestBuy a worker here has a hole cut out of his polo for his nipple ring to show through. he says ""it's new and needs to breathe"""

"My friend dropped his phone in the toilet It was a shitty phone anyway True story"

"Can you conquer the largest continent on earth? No, but Genghis Khan!"