121826

Joke of the Day

"My friend was arrested after carving equations into blocks of quartz He was charged with manufacture of crystal math"

"""Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..."" [God appears from behind dumpster] ""I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"""

"-40 outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius. My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes."

"I invented a time machine... ...next week."

"What does Disney and the porn industry have in common? They both hire adults that look like teenagers."

"What did the hookers left leg say to the right leg? Between you and me, we can make a lot of money."

"In the book I'm currently reading, there's a section that talks about the vagina. It's my favourite passage."

"Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye."

"What runs faster? Hot or cold? Hot because everyone can catch a cold!"

"I'm always good at figuring out who dies first in a movie but sometimes directors fuck with me by casting too many black people..."