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Joke of the Day

"Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement."

"What do you call someone with down syndrome who is very depressed? Down"

"Show Jumping Some people call it ""Show Jumping"" I like to call it *Sarah Jessica Parkour*"

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help?' I said No, six should be enough.'"

"Which gun has a perfect rating? A Five-seven."

"How many Nazi skin heads does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10, 1 to do it and 9 to back him up. Source: https://redandblackbritain.wordpress.com/humour/"

"Mitch Hedberg R.I.P Buddy I was told to move because I was blocking the fire exit ... as if I wouldn't run if there was a fire ... anything flamable and has legs can't ever block a fire exit"

"""You can't stand there."" ""Not there, either."" ""Nope that spot's taken, too."" -Ground hogs"

"Had sex with a deaf and blind paraplegic girl. Fucked her senseless."

"Where do you get virgin wool? Ugly sheep."