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Joke of the Day

"Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow."

"You know that photo of yourself you really fucking hate, it'll look great to you in ten years time so don't delete that shit."

"*I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter* Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours."

"My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time."

"Yo mama's so fat... That the local all you can eat buffet had to install speed bumps"

"So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims, they went through 110 stories in 4 seconds"

"What do you call a white European with a big dick? Hungaryan"

"A band player accidentally broke his instrument. He got in a lot of treble. Edit:That pun didn't end on a good note."

"{Thomas Edison prank call} Is your refrigerator running? ""Yes.."" YOU'RE WELCOME! *click*"