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Joke of the Day

"""You miss 100% of the shots you never take."" - Wayne Gretzky ""You miss 100% of the shots you DO take."" - Stormtroopers"

"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"

"How much hate does it take to qualify as a ""hater""? I hate tons of stuff."

"Why are chemists such whores? They keep talking about their nitrates"

"What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman? He just wants her to be down to Mars"

"What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving? 1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise"

"Ten years from now mankind will be illiterate, and we'll only communicate through pictures of our breakfasts."

"If I promise to miss you, will you go away?"

"What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more? An extractor fan"

"I got off at the wrong bus stop. She was so hot I didn't even see the policeman."