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Joke of the Day

"No thanks, World Cup. If I wanted to watch dudes run around for 3 hours and leave with a tie, I'd just go to Sears."

"What's 1+1? 2"

"TIL: Norwegian women are so hot, because vikings only took the most beautiful women as prisoners. Gotcha ?"

"Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside."

"Pizza is like sex If you're going to use barbecue sauce, you need to know what you're doing."

"friend gave me an inhaler my friend was dying on the floor and he gave me an inhaler, guess he wanted to give something for me to remember him. weird."

"Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'"

"Have you heard the joke about the man with no tongue? No? Probably a good thing, it's pretty tasteless."

"Why did Charles Darwin become a scientist? He was just playing to his strengths. It was really a natural selection."

"What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party? No brains"