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Joke of the Day

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Cindrella?"

"This girl reckons she met me at the vegetarian club But I've never met herbivore."

"So the other day in calculus we were talking about concavity I asked if that's why prisoners brush their teeth"

"You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet."

"A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste."

"I figured out why the plane crashed! There were skeletons driving it!"

"how do u do molly safely? wear a condm."

"when I run out of spoons that tells me its probably time to do the dishes .. or quit heroine, whichever."

"I just found out they made a heart-shaped dairy-lovers pizza Too cheesy for me though"

"Set of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks them up and down really slow and says, OK, I'll serve you, but don't be starting anything."