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Joke of the Day

"Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree."

"What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAA"

"What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening? A cannibal"

"For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, ""How to Succeed as a Con Man."""

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? Goes back four seconds."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."

"Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She threw out all the W's."

"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!"

"What does a priest and McDonalds have in common? They both like to stick meat in their 10 year old buns."

"I can't stop starting at the Mona Lisa... I think I'm in Louvre."