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Joke of the Day

"My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once. What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk? A Star-Spangled Banner."

"They say you should never run when you stumble across a lion in the wild. I don't think I'll be able to run with all the shit in my pants."

"I can't remember my Password i can remember my Password being ""Mypenis"" but it keeps telling me that my password is too short :("

"Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you."

"If a tree falls on your wife, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? The real question is... why the hell was there a tree in your kitchen?"

"I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am."

"Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station? It is a day to be tankful."

"What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common? They're both made up."

"2 men walked into a bar The third one ducked"

"If only the person that named ""walkie talkies"" had been in charge of naming so many more household objects."