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Joke of the Day
"My daughter used to hate eating vegetables. Until she became a vegetarian."
Next Joke
"What's the clinical name for Viagra? Mycoxafloppin."
"I need to make a change. I haven't given a fuck my entire life. I'm still a virgin."
"Do you ever get that creepy deja vu feeling? [credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2tc8bn/how_do_you_subtly_fuck_with_people/cny3ig0)"
"Cat: I think i have a rash. Doctor Dog: WE SHOULD AMPUTATE YOUR HEAD"
"How do you know when a vegan gets to the party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"
"[Duck support group] ""After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day"" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*"
"What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino? Well hell-if-i-know!"
"Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes."