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Joke of the Day

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip."

"75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy"

"What's the same about an election and an erection? They're only one letter different, and both are about a dick rising to power."

"Did you hear the one about the Irish boomerang ? It doesn't come back .............. it just sings about how much it wants to."

"Turns out when you're a grown up, you CAN do anything you want, you just have to deal with the fallout... *pizza dough plops on head*"

"I asked my heart why I can't sleep at night? Heart replied ""because you slept in the afternoon, don't act like you're in love"""

"How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? You can't tell it's in the dark"

"She asked me for breakfast in bed... I said ""maybe you should swallow next time."""

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A very soar arse"

"I was accused of sexual harassment But I couldn't of. Because her ass meant nothing to me."