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Joke of the Day

"The ultimate catch-22. My boss said I need to improve my work ethic. I told him I'd work on it."

"Whats the difference between driving and getting a blowjob? I can only hold one beer when I'm driving."

"Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids."

"What do you call semitic oompa-loompas? Orange Jews"

"Jewish kid asks his father for $50 ... His father replies: ""Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"Pickup line: ""Hey girl, is your dad in jail?"" Because if I were him, I would be."

"What if Hitler killed all the Jews The Fine brothers wouldnt exist. Thats all I wanted to say."

"A person in my class is constantly playing with his watch I wish I had that kind of time on my hands"

"What's grey and comes in litres? An elephant. Apologies if this is a repost - heard it yesterday and had to share."

"STEWARDESS: omg the plane's about to crash but the SOS message can only be 140 characters! what are we going to do?? ME: *slowly stands up*"