120249
Joke of the Day
"just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I'm gonna need a minute"
Next Joke
"Why is russian roulette bad for parties? It kills the mood ."
"ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE"
"If Hillary Clinton stripped off her pant suit, what would you see? Depends."
"Came downstairs to find my 85 year old mum watching the TV Me:"" Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?"" Mum: ""Just to make sure"""
"Jon Snow contracted malaria after getting stabbed... ""How did you get malaria from a stab?"" ""Malaryan Steel."""
"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power."
"How do you kill a thousand flies at once? slapping a nigerian kid in the face"
"I have eaten so much of the white bean and kale soup we made this weekend that the EPA just imposed sanctions on my butt"
"Did you know what 6.9 is? its a good thing screwed up by a period"