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Joke of the Day

"Instead of getting Xbox Live I just drive to the skate park & pay obnoxious teenagers $60 to call me gay."

"My friend says I play with my parrot to much. So I gave him the bird."

"I like Viagra so much... I literally have a hard on for it."

"Liverpool sounds like the most disgusting place in the world to hold a swim meet."

"Happy International Women's Day Or its better known name, Just Another Made Up Holiday No One Gives A Fuck About Day. or my favorite, Tuesday."

"Why does Thor have insomnia? He's up all night to get Loki."

"What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go into a store without Robin."

"Million dollar idea: Invest $995,000 in a bank CD."

"Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in...only one works!"

"Things I trust more than Trump 1.Flint, Michigan water 2.Bill Cosby drinks 3.Elevator rides with Ray Rice 4.Donated blood from Magic Johnson 5.Casey Anthony with my kid"