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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dead fly? a flew"

"Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye's forearms, I'm guessing Olive Oyl didn't put out much."

"Car alarms would be a lot more effective if they sounded like two people fighting. I'd peak out my window for that."

"My perennial favourites always seem to come back year after year."

"Don't let an extra chromosome get you down."

"This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him."

"Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'."

"Santa went to the doctor's Santa Claus went to the doctor's with a mince pie stuck up his arse. The doctor took one look at it and said ""no worries, I can give you some cream for that."""

"Chris Christie finally got a job in Trump's administration. He's going to be the border wall."

"When my wife starts to sing.... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."