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Joke of the Day

"Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry."

"Archaeologists digging on a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche."

"the sequel to ""Up"" should be called ""Up 2: No Good"" who do I tell this to"

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch"""

"[me as a DJ] Where my single ladies at? *drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men"

"A girl asks a guy if she is wearing to much makeup. The guy responds. ""Depends, are you trying to kill the Batman?"""

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar. Two condoms walk past a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, ""Hey, wanna go get...shitfaced?"""

"I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me."

"Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants"

"[ouija board] Spirits im in need of your help O N L Y I F Y O U H E L P U S Sure W T F I S Y O U R W I F I P A S S W O R D"