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Joke of the Day

"Prank: if you're standing at a busy intersection light beside a guy staring at his phone take 2 steps forward & see if he walks into traffic"

"Which insect didn't play well in goal ? The fumble bee !"

"What's difference between good weed and good pussy? You can smell the weed from across the room."

"What's the difference between a honda and a Porsche? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a Honda"

"I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I'll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab."

"Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic."

"Fact: Bernie Sanders won't release his birth certificate because it proves that when he was born he was already a 74-year-old man"

"I signed up for Binary 101... but it turned out to be a level 5 course. Corny, but I'm still proud of myself."

"I used to work at a calendar store But they fired me for taking a day off."

"I sleep better naked Why can't this flight attendant understand that?"