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Joke of the Day

"People accuse me of never giving a damn about anyone but myself, but I distinctly remember saying 'bless you' when someone sneezed last year"

"F*&%. I keep forgetting the Titans"

"An E-Flat , a G-Flat & a B-Flat walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors""."

"It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, ""Stay in drugs, don't do school"" in a serious tone."

"What do you do if your bank account stops working? Throw the guy out of the house."

"A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits."

"What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took? A No. 2 pencil."

"The ladies in my knitting club think it's hilarious when I greet them by saying, ""Sup, my knittas?!"""

"Santa is like fathers... He only comes when the kids are asleep"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken"