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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a wandering caveman? A Meanderthal."

"Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES."

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger!"

"As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: ""They had eggs."""

"Ghost me would do the same stuff as alive me. Howl. Wander. Stand in front of the fridge and stare at all the food I'm not allowed to eat."

"What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common? They both got accepted to Yale."

"Chefs who can't admit failure present: Soft-boiled eggs Steak tartare Twice-baked potatoes Sour cream Calzones Pineapple upside down cake"

"6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not"

"My parallel parking skills are unparalleled."

"Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre. I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger."