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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if your lawnmower stops working? Deport him back to Mexico"

"I'm so good at cutting things into little pieces and showing them who's boss I **decimate** tests."

"What do women and stones have in common? You skip the flat ones."

"What's the best thing about fucking a transvestite? Reaching around the front and thinking, just for a second, that's it's gone all the way through"

"Jesus must have had a chiseled, muscular body... I mean, he did cross fit, for God's sake. And the Bible tells us he was cut, ripped, and shredded."

"What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend? Long time no sea."

"I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her Instead I just swam up to the surface"

"My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said ""what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"""

"Fish with no eyes What do you call a fish with no eyes? -A ""FSH"""

"What would be Jeopardy? If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first."