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Joke of the Day

"TIL Humans eat more krill than whales. I can't remember the last time I've eaten a whale."

"Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? Because she thought everybody loved her."

"baby moses: [crying] mum: ""why wont he stop"" dad: ""throw him in the river lol"" mum: ""okay"" this is from a book called the bible"

"I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt."

"Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine."

"I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. What did he say? You're fired."

"A big moron and a little moron were standing on the edge of a roof. Suddenly a gust of wind came and the big one fell off, but the little one didn't. Why? He was a little more on."

"If Oprah took over Favstar, everyone would get a trophy."

"What's the worst part about a potato famine? You can't get to the root of the problem."

"What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take? Vitamin ""D""."