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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and out of shape. My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and I'm out of shape. I guess I need some conditioning."

"Italians and Spaniards are so used to Catholic child abuse... ... That they call the Pope daddy"

"I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood."

"What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan? The Pirates always lose."

"Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper? It's finger licking good."

"I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Intern Groper Rob'."

"I'd like to give a shout out to the sidewalk.... for keeping me off the streets."

"Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic? He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere."

"A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid. ""You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!"" ""No,"" slurs the mathematician... ""I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."""

"A Spanish magician is at a party He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, ""uno, dos,"" POOF. He disappeared without a tres."