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Joke of the Day

"What religion still believes in the Big Bang? [x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis] Islam"

"Rumours suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him. Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds."

"What do you call a small petition? Petite (Basin Tss)"

"Statistically speaking... 6/7 dwarfs aren't happy."

"They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste. You have nothing to worry about."

"After my surgery, the doctor told me I have to pee sitting down. He told me not to lift anything that weighs more than 10 pounds."

"Describe yourself in 3 words I am a rebel"

"Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes? Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty. Server: Huh? Me: No boys. Server: Huh? Me: No thanks."

"Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!"

"Do zombies rule? Of corpse they do!"