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Joke of the Day

"You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice"

"I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over."

"All I'm saying is that if M&M's poured out of a person after you stabbed them, I'd probably lose my moral compass very quickly."

"Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear"

"What Makes a Penis and a Rubik's Cube Similar? They both get harder the more you play with it."

"Next time you're in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases."

"I just love blind prostitutes.... I mean, you've gotta hand it to them."

"Your momma's so fat That when she goes to church people say: Holy Cow!"

"I just slept with Pinnochio. No strings."

"What's long, dark, hard and grotesque but very satisfying to beat? Bloodborne"