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Joke of the Day

"We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea Runs in our jeans."

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust."

"My wifes birthday My wife asked me for something that went from 0-200 insanely fast. Bought her a pair of scales"

"As I've gotten older, I've realized the world can be seen through a million perspectives. Mine and 999,999 wrong ones."

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston? [Oc] The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead."

"Wait - my gym moved? In 1997?"

"On my birthday, my family tried to surprise me with a car But they missed."

"What happens when you steamroll Batman and Robin? They become flatman and ribbon."

"Meaningless statistics are up 17% today"

"What's the difference between soap and SOPA? You won't get fucked if you drop SOPA."