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Joke of the Day

"Mugger: ""Hand over your card and give me your PIN number!"" Me: ""My personal identification number number?"" *he stabs me*"

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"People who say that they're 'just naturally thin' are also just naturally awful."

"I'm tired of seeing ""Hey OP, I banged your mom"" comments every time I post a submission.... I never should have given dad my username."

"Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again."

"My bowel is upset. Must be full of shit."

"One time I knocked my hot curling iron off the sink & caught it in my open palm because I have the catlike reflexes of a dim-witted ninja."

"Does a cow have the Buddha-nature? Mu."

"Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing? To get some fresh air"

"What's the worst thing about Michael Jackson teaching your kindergarten class? The smell. The man's been dead for 6 years."