118953

Joke of the Day

"Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That's how this works."

"It's impossible to beat God in gymnastics. He always wins the all-around."

"What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common? They both hit the deck and flop like a fish."

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"[ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni"

"When Big Johnny tried to fly without an ID... ...the TSA diagnosed him with an enlarged prostate."

"Anal is like brushing your teeth. If you see blood your not doing it enough."

"Have you heard the latest joke about physicists? It collapsed into a black hole."

"I made up a good one. Why do so many white people do meth? Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*"

"Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on. The barista looked over and said, ""Well, essay chai tea happens."""