224374

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roamin' numeral"

"What are condoms for? Condoms are for fucking pussies, and for assholes."

"They're giving away Marshawn Lynch jerseys at my local sports shop. But I think I'll pass"

"When I found out the murderer dismembered the victim, It really tore me into pieces."

"What's the bright side of being knocked unconscious and raped? At least you get to start with an anonymous tip."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink"

"People tell me that I'm condescending That means I talk down to people"

"I just farted & my dog looked at me like i asked her a calculus question"

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying ""No hard feelings""."

"Lawyer: ""Now that you have been acquitted will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"" Client: ""After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning I'm beginning to think I didn't."""