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Joke of the Day

"Son: Sire, I wish to change my name King: Why, Prince Stephen? Son: Because you call me ""Prince S"" King: Haha yeah that never gets old"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who tried to commit suicide? He jumped behind an oncoming train."

"I don't mind holding my wife's purse. It's the only time I get to be close to my balls."

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"me: if ur soulmate dies before u meet them do u get like a backup soulmate professor: i meant questions about the midterm"

"Why is it worse this time around? Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof."

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"How do you make a woman blind? Put a windshield in front of her."

"What finally killed Captain Hook? Jock Itch!"

"What's the Difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? One's $2.50 and the Other's Under a Buck!"