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Joke of the Day

"I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the Virgin Mobile booth. It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs."

"I find my own face to be scary... But I guess that's just me"

"My son just asked what erectile dysfunction is so I told him it's when your anaconda don't want none regardless of the presence of buns."

"I have a chest cold, or, as they used to call it in the 17th Century, four days to live."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *thwack* fuck... A skydiver goes FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *THWACK*"

"In honor of today, ""Knock Knock..."" Whose there? 9-11. 9-11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!! :("

"What is Juan's favorite book to read? Tequila Mockingbird"

"I'll need a weekend to recover from this weekend."

"Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there? Him: Windows phone Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is"

"What is a goat's favourite form of comedy? Satyre."