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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that rich kid who got a car for his birthday? He drove it into a tree to see how his Mercedes bends."

"Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry."

"Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide"

"Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers."

"The Gay Magician Hey, Did you hear about the gay magician?........... He pulled a rabbit out of his ass!"

"Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them. The first nun has a second stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach it."

"Know how drunk girls go out of their way to insist how sober they are? The same rule applies to a guy who always talk about how ""big"" he is."

"Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !"

"Is the opposite of progress... ...congress?"

"I was just diagnosed with a severe lack of empathy. But I'm gonna keep going strong! The last thing I will do is start feeling sorry for myself."