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Joke of the Day

"please tell me that when we defeat ISIS they will have to become WASWAS"

"We should change the saying to ""Home is where your phone automatically connects to your wifi""."

"Him: What are you doing? Me: Tweeting. Him: Gah. Such a colossal waste of time. Me: *stare* Him: *goes back to playing Candy Crush*"

"What ""D"" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ? Blon-D"

"What's Fonzie's favorite indefinite article? Ehhhhhh!"

"Yo mama's so fat... ...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie."

"The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it."

"Hey baby, if I were a gorilla exhibit I'd let you drop a kid in me."

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"Self-Love Joke When I was at the zoo, I couldn't figure out why a monkey was staring at me with its hand between its legs. Then it came to me."