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Joke of the Day

"I was being recruited for suicide bombing... I asked the recruiter, ""what are the perks of being a suicide bomber?"" And he replied, ""well, for starters, you get to go all over the place!"""

Next Joke
 
"What is small, red and square? A small red square."
"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"
"Subway Jared ended his career just like how he started it... ...by trying to get into smaller pants"
"Girlfriend and I are visiting San Fran to finally see the Golden Gate in person. ""What are we going to do when we see it?"" she asks. ""We'll cross that bridge when we get there."""
"Whats the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird"
"What do you call an old, dead, bloodsucking leech? Margaret Thatcher"
"Hey, not too bad I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I love you too Ok, bye -phone convos with mom"
"What do you use to clear the air of stupid? A HERPA filter"
"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton? Bill got fucked in the oval office and Hillary just got fucked out of it."