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Joke of the Day

"Hey gurl, were you taped to the inside of a birthday card from my grandmother? Cause you're a dime."

"Mantra at the gym: When the zombies come, cardio will matter."

"A farmer planted a crop of puns They were home groan."

"What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team? The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."

"I am Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

"Why were the teachers eyes so crossed? She couldn't control her pupils."

"My Wife always asks why I make science jokes. Y*_o_* ?"

"Shout out to Pringles for admitting they're addictive, unlike cigarettes and heroin the two biggest liars of the snack industry."

"Great minds think alike but great behinds stink alike."

"She was only a moonshine-maker's daughter... ... but I loved her still."