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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, all the grils have fled, so with [this](http://i.imgur.com/jKdoV69.jpg) I'll just have to make do."

"absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys"

"So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl. And all I could think was ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" And then she did."

"I wrote 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' on a balloon. However, before I could propose... -I popped the question"

"The slogan for the local sheriff's department: ""We aim to police!"""

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"Doctor: ""You have a blockage in your small & large intestine"" Barista: ... Barista: ... Doctor: *Sigh* ""Ok, Tall & Venti intestine."""

"I was pretty sure I've been dead and in hell for the past three hours until I was informed the air conditioner isn't working."

"What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students? You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!"

"The State of Illinois has just unveiled its new welcome sign... Welcome to Illinois; not ALL of our elected officials have been indicted!"