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Joke of the Day

"absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys"

"It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood."

"What do you call the people that always are around musicians? bass players."

"INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put ""has dominion over bees""? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off"

"Me: Grandma died, can't work today. Boss: Thought she died last month? Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick."

"What did the wife say after she got caught having sex with his husband's best friend while watching Toy Story... ~You got a friend in me~"

"There's a new restaurant opening called Kentucky Freud Chicken... ...It's motherfucking good."

"There are 0000 0010 people in the world..... Those who get it, and those who dont"

"I'm really scared that the Fine Bros are going to sue me because I just had an allergic reaction."

"Chainsaws: because ""The Texas Weed-whacker Massacre"" just wasn't scary enough"