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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new housing being built where dwarves can live at no charge? It's called the ""Stayfree Mini Pad"""

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"I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!"
"Pokemon? go fuck yourself"
"Two goldfish were in their tank... Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""
"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."
"His son asked him what gay meant. Son: Dad, what does gay mean? Dad: Happy son. It means happy. Son: Then are YOU gay DAD? Dad: No son...... i have a wife... EDIT: Damn this blew up. Thanks guys!"
"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."
"Most Offensive Joke Ever People say that there's safety in numbers. Yeah? Tell that to 6 million Jews."
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?"
"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"