118142

Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Why are you driving that car in circles? Driver: I was just going for a little spin."

"What is Robb Stark's least favorite band? The Fray"

"Wait in a dressing room until an employee comes to ask if they can help. Answer yes, pause, then say, ""But I need to be able to trust you"""

"I was at the confessional booth the other day and I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating He said ""Sure, If it bothers you, I'll stop""."

"If you turn your underwear inside out and put them on, the whole universe is wearing your underwear except for you."

"What is a vegetable's favorite martial art? He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe."

"You'll be surprised how many people won't get the answer to this. Q: what's red and smells like blue paint? A: red paint."

"Ay' girl,is your dad a terrorist Cause you re da bomb"

"If I have trouble finding an arm hole while putting on a dress shirt, I imagine I'm rehearsing for my show ""Damien Fahey: Shitty Magician""."

"I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle."