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Joke of the Day

"I slept so good last night.. It was like I was on a date with Bill Cosby."

"What does the Doctor use to keep things running smoothly in the T.A.R.D.I.S? WD-4D"

"If there's 'Extra Virgin' olive oil, there has to be a 'Dirty Slut' variety as well"

"Did you see the awful story about a triple amputee dog the other day? Poor pup. They said he was on his last leg."

"What's the difference between obese and morbidly obese? Obese is when you can't see your own genitals, morbidly obese is when you can't see your own genitals in the mirror."

"What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet? V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he ain't coming over to you."

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Why don't you put eggs in a microwave? Because they eggsplode. :D"

"Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!"