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Joke of the Day

"Why are so many Mathematicians vegetarians? Cos Lettuce"

"My daughter said, ""You're the best mommy ever!"" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age."

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."

"I made fun of my Middle Eastern friend's food the other day Now I falafel about it."

"How does a mathematician deal with constipation? He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out"

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"Why can't bike stand on its own? ...because it's two tired."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get their legs apart"

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one... ...he's never gonna give you *Up.*"

"My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20"