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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get their legs apart"

"My girlfriend's refusal to learn the difference between baking soda and washing soda leaves me foaming at the mouth"

"Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch."

"*deliberately drops paper in front of cute girl* Oh my goodness was that my...(sexy voice) political science degree"

"I was going to make a joke about anal... But fuck it"

"I'll be remembering Pearl Harbor by getting bombed this evening."

"You know why I quit working at the sausage factory? It was the wurst."

"I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't like coffee. I'm very straight."

"What did you do wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen and yells at you? You made her chain to long."

"The police just released a statement that someone is going around pickpocketing midgets. I'm surprised someone could stoop so low."