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Joke of the Day

"I do most of my parenting on Facebook. My kids post that they're smoking pot and having unprotected sex and I reply with a sad emoticon :-(."

"Ever look out the window of a plane and see a huge target on the roof of a Target? Haven't these people ever watched the History Channel?"

"Finding a guy to marry who is rich enough to pay off my debt, but not so rich he wants a prenup is, like, so much harder than I anticipated."

"Kanye West Running For President 2020"

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!"

"Have you heard , Donald Trump is having a sex change operation ? He is tired of pretending ... now he wants to identify himself as a real man."

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"Don't forget when you're tanning nude in your backyard that someone is zooming in on you from google earth satellite. You're welcome."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One."

"There should be a ""Life of Pi"" TV show, where they throw a different D-list celebrity in a boat with a tiger every week."