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Joke of the Day

"Scientist1: You got any Sodium Hypobromite? Scientist2: NaBrO"

"[roommate watching me get ready] dont take that with you ""why not"" why would you ""it'll be fine"" [hour into date and I spill my bag of ants]"

"What is a duck's favorite drug? You might think it's quack, but it's actually mariwaddle..."

"I'm more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo."

"I made a Pokemon team based around paralyzing my opponents. I'm a firm believer that there is strength in numbers."

"Did you hear about Taco Bell's new sauce? It's picked-out daily south of the border."

"Before you decide to tell a woman she should go get herself ""dolled up,"" remember, Annabelle & Chucky are dolls."

"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."

"I can tell you how to view NSFW content while at your desk. Get to work, Michael! You're not getting paid to watch models who have ""MAGA"" tattooed on their breasts."

"Where do Doggos go when they lose their tail? THE RETAIL STORE!"