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Joke of the Day

"What did earth say to the other planets? Wow, you guys have no life."

"I had an interview today. The guy interviewing me asked me where I saw myself in 5 years... I told him I didn't have 2020 vision."

"Halloween Joke Thread Share your best Halloween jokes here, reposts and all. Maybe this will help with the sub being overrun with the same thing?"

"The difference between my ""Maine lobster"" and my ""main lobster"" is boiling water or a high five."

"What does a burnt pizza and a pregnant girl have in common? Someone that didn't take it out in time."

"Concerned that hanging my daughter's artwork all over the house is sending the wrong message. Specifically that I think it's not terrible."

"[God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say ""when"" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*"

"If you lose one senses, your other senses become stronger. That's why people without a sense of humour have such a high sense of self importance"

"Thinking of cryogenically freezing myself until they can find a cure for unemployment."

"A family Checks in to a Hotel The father goes to the front desk & says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies. ""It's just regular porn you pervert."""