117824
Joke of the Day
"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""
Next Joke
"Haloween is over, but i just saw a group of people dressed up as the ghosts of the Cone Heads."
"A nun who was known to smoke a pack a day just recently quit her habit. Now she just smokes naked."
"What did Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both had curds in their whey."
"Did you guys hear about that Egyptian con-artist? Turns out he was running a pyramid scheme all along."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? And 'entruncated'? How about 'monosyllabic'? Who's running this language?"
"Crap. They didn't cancel this morning's meeting. I wore my suit to bed inside out for nothing."
"What gas is best dressed at a dinner party? Formaldehyde"
"My 12yo son's protip: Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome."
"I finally got a housekeeper. it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."