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Joke of the Day

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheburg."

"Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you."

"what do you call gay paramedics? First-AIDS"

"Can't believe it's been four years since we all pretended Michael Jackson never touched a child."

"*pulls away from kissing -What does CVS stand for?"

"Are you seeing someone? Me: Are you seeing someone? Girl: Um, no. Me: Not even a psychiatrist?"

"TIFU by sleeping with my boss I should be getting a promotion any day now."

"What did Hitler eat for breakfast? Luftwaffes"

"Q: Why are manhole covers round? A: Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."

"""You never told me you were vegan!"" - no one ever"